Ugly People Dating Service?

Yes! You read that right. I thought I would do a search based on a conversation I was having earlier with my husband on what page titles were potentially offensive in the online dating arena, and stumbled upon the following:

Change Your Definition of Beauty at Ugly People Dating Service

"You might call yourself 'ugly' but we have a different view on things. How can you be ugly when there are so many types of beauty in the world? There is always beauty that contradicts the general standard. Maybe even more so than in the regular perception of good looks. You don’t need to worry about your appearance; you just need to meet people with the right eye to appreciate it. And that is just who you'll find at Ugly People Dating Service.

You won't find any shallow people here; you know, the ones who are brainwashed into liking what the media advertises and portrays as beautiful. Those people never learned to develop their own taste and they're not the kind of people you want to hang out with anyway. You need to find somebody who appreciates your beauty and your beauty alone and that's exactly who you'll find plenty of here. Mix and mingle with people who will love you for who you are." wwwuglypeopledatingservice.com

 

What's Inside?

 

Photo by Janet Puddicombe

We all know women who would do just about anything to be beautiful ... wear the latest fashions, get the trendiest hair cut, apply the right shades of makeup, buy the newest fast-acting wrinkle banishing creams or do diet after diet.

Many women struggle with this misplaced feeling of identity. It’s the feeling that you have to constantly strive for that picture of perfection in order to be accepted and loved. All this striving and chasing after a false image is exhausting. There is always something or someone new to compare yourself with or measure up to ... does it ever end?

Let’s evaluate ourselves. What is your definition of true beauty? Are you using all the little things on the outside to cover up something you don’t like on the inside? Let us embrace the unique woman that each of us are; instead of trying to impress others, let us choose to be happy with ourselves first. Let us work on things of inner beauty like forgiveness, compassion, kindness, and charity. These things bring beauty to the soul that resonates outwardly for others to see. These qualities are far more precious than any product we can buy at a store.

Consider how great the world, or even our communities, would be if we chose to work on our hearts instead of our looks. Think of the confidence and independence our daughters could have with that kind of example to look up to. Let us start with ourselves, and you never know what kind of wonderful things could come of it!

By Bobbie Messmore, President and Founder of thejewels.org

Lupita Nyong'o Speaks About Beauty

Very well said...

Where's the virtue?

A friend told me the other day that when her daughter said she thought I had beautiful skin, she responded, "Yeah, but, you'll never see her without make-up on, or her hair done."

I gulped, listened, and reflected.

I can say honestly that my initial response was a positive one.  I thought, "Good for her. As a mom, she's making sure her daughter has a grounded concept of beauty."

But, as the days went by and I looked in the mirror, I began to ask myself some questions:

How natural is natural? How much virtue is there in it? Am I confident enough about my own beauty to "go natural"?  Does this mother somehow connect good grooming with being artificial? Am I really someone to warn your daughter about?

I don't color or chemically process my hair and I wear very little make up, but, I can't quite get myself to leave the house without my hair looking (in my opinion) decent and a little color on my face.

I'm not someone who wears make up to bed.  Maybe that's why I associate the lack of it with intimacy. My husband sees me with my hair a mess and without anything on my face and loves what he sees.  (At least that's what he tells me!)

I suppose I have pretty nice skin (most days) and probably don't need to wear foundation. In fact, there have been times I've headed out and realized that I forgot to put some on after my moisturizer... but, that doesn't mean I think there's virtue in NOT wearing it.

I personally like a polished (but, not artificial) look. I delight in and respect women who take time to care for themselves - just as I delight in seeing a spotlessly clean house, a sparkling dining table and a well-manicured garden.  Knowing that someone took the time to look nice for a meeting with me is special and shows a degree of respect (it also means they had the time and cared enough to make the effort). That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy conversation in a friend's messy house with diapers and kids everywhere, a walk through a disheveled garden or a meal at a simply set table.  Some of my most meaningful experiences have been in settings where the aesthetics were a little out of sorts. I can also (genuinely) enjoy coffee (and deep, meaningful conversation) with someone who looks like she just crawled out of bed.

How people or places "look" is NOT important, but, if they are beautiful in our opinion, then it brings added aesthetic delight.

When it comes to polish and grooming, our concepts of what is beautiful vary.

Maybe it's all about time and effort, but, listening to my friend, I reflected on the fact that she may actually see the "natural (somewhat disheveled) look" as being beautiful - or more virtuous - the way I have (for example) sometimes preferred the look of natural wood over stained...

But, one could argue about preservation and which can withstand the elements better... in some situations - the natural; in others - the polished.

Just another thought on life's conceptions of beauty...

What do YOU think?

What is Beauty?

Beauty is a characteristic of a person, animal, place, object or idea, that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure or satisfaction. Beauty is studied as part of aesthetics, sociology, social psychology, and culture. An "ideal beauty" is an entity which is admired, or possesses features widely attributed to beauty in a particular culture, for perfection.
The experience of "beauty" often involves an interpretation of some entity as being in balance and harmony with nature, which may lead to feelings of attraction and emotional well-being. Because this can be a subjective experience, it is often said that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder."


Wikipedia® is a registered trademark of the Wikimedia Foundation, Inc., a non-profit organization.